You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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