she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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