I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
no, he came in my armpit
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
