Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
