There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
