I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
