Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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