Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
