were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
