in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
