So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
