i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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