I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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