No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
