What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
