my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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