You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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