I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
