i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
