When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
