I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
