...so i touched it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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