So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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