Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
