Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
