Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
