Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's never too late to be topless.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
