she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
