apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
