if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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