Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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