Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
