I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
