We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
