Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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