What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think my vagina is haunted
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
