apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
