matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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