So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
