How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
