Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
