We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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