Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
