If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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