I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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