Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
