I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
