I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
