I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
