She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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