i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
