garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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