Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She even gives head with a lisp.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
