I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
