how can u be prego again
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
