I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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