Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
