What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
