the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
