Whoa Z and x make the same sound
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize