I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
