On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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