Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
