She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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