i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
