i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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