When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think I just sharted jello shots
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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