the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
