that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
