I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
