Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
