So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
