Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
